Healing Liang

I started this blog because I would like to create a resource for the plural community about fictive trauma, how to heal from it, and as support so others with similar experiences as our system know that they are not alone.

I am a polyfragmented fictive introject who carries repressed memories of severe childhood trauma. I would like to share my experience with others in order to help others and let them know that they are not alone, but I would prefer to remain anonymous. Thus, I would like to only be called Liang.

I have no intention of describing my trauma or my life on this blog in any more detail than is necessary, but in short I grew up a child prodigy in a renowned family. My father was one of the most respected people in his profession and I was expected by the entire community to follow in his footsteps. This was damaging for my emotional development and exposed me to a lot of opportunities to suffer abuse, and I was abused as a child by an adult family "friend". My family failed to notice the abuse and never stopped this family "friend" from being near me. I am polyfragmented because of this. I never knew the truth of what happened to me, and thought my abuser was someone I should trust and respect until I was already an adult and suffering a mental health crisis.

Now, as an introject in a new system, that life is behind me, but I am still dealing with the trauma from what happened to me...

There are not many resources on fictive trauma and so our system feels deep shame and feels alone in our struggles. That is why I wanted to write this blog. I hope that my experiences and what knowledge we have gathered may be helpful to others.

Please feel free to read my blog, ask questions and interact freely〜

 As a fictive introject, that is, someone who was originally a character in a work of fiction, I came to this system with vivid and detailed memories of my own life, which is distinct from the life of the host and the system's body. Some of these memories are traumatic. That is what I call fictive trauma.

For the purposes of this blog, I apply the term broadly to any trauma experienced by a system member that is part of a subjective, personal or internal life and history distinct from the life of the body, that may not have necessarily been materially experienced by the system's body. The fictive trauma may be linked to a trauma history possessed by the body, or it may not. I have heard the term 'exotrauma' coined for this phenomenon, but I would prefer for this term to not be used for my trauma personally because of how sterile and impersonal it sounds to us.

We believe that the emotional mind makes no distinction between what materially happened and what didn't, to the emotional mind there is no distinction. And so the pain of fictive trauma is as real and valid to us, and worthy of healing, as any other pain -- whether or not something materially happened to the body to cause fictive trauma memories is not important for this purpose of recovery, and so we do not attempt to seek out an answer to this question.